Children should be allowed to get bored, expert says (2013)

I feel the destructive behaviour of bored kids is forgotten a bit. Growing up in the late 70s early 80s we were kicked out of the house until dinner. We did a lot of really dangerous things exploring. Among these,

-Playing in storm drains. Inside the narrow tunnels I might add.

-Abandoned construction sites.

-Railway tracks. Putting things o the rails waiting for the train to see what happened. Everything from rocks to toys to coins.

-Dumpster diving in large dumpsters. There was a soap factory near us and wed dive for schampoo or hairgel.

-Jumping in the biohazard pond looking for frogs eggs.

-Throwing things off bridges.

-Climbing various constructions, houses and dubios trees.

-Competing in who could jump from the highest roof.

Kids not only could get hurt. We did. Legs were broken. No one died fortunately.

Bored kids outside is not really as romantic as many would have it. Not arguing against boredom, constant stimuli is not healthy.

That being said, unsupervised bored kids can lead to some very dangerous outcomes.

I often think that a lot of people are depressed and/or in a burn out because they don't give themselves a moment to do nothing. A moment were the brain can get up to speed with all the bombardments of information.

In the past we had moments we were bored. Now, we always have a phone or other screen were we can indulge on dopamine.

> All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. —BP

Wish there was more rigorous studies on this. Yesterday I got stuck waiting for a train for 3 hours with a dead phone, so I walked around Boston and an old lady sat down at the park to talk to me about her dogs. I got back to the station an hour too early and read the beginning of a book someone left behind.

Can we get a (2024) study on this?

“should be allowed”, in practice, means “should be forced”, since it means saying no to the huge collection of devices (TVs, computers, tablets, nintendos etc) that prevent boredom.

Sometimes it seems to me that many of us are in a state of permanent entertainment. It has become our default mode so any break from it may trigger even anxiety..

In my life I find that what works the best for my kid and for myself are physical activities such as climbing, swimming and walks in forest.

I'm trying to find ways to replace dopamine with serotonin (replacing pleasure with happiness) and it seems that usually involves some form of physical activity where mind needs to focus on the movement and surroundings, so that there is simply not much room for thinking and desires.

When my kid is bored he eventually figures out something to do.

if he gets less tv or whatever, for a period, he gets deeply invested in lego or drawing or similar

A generation that cannot endure boredom will be a generation of little people… unduly divorced from the slow processes of nature, in whom every vital impulse withers, as though they were cut flowers in a vase.

—Bertrand Russell

We got bored and did dangerous things as kids and it was fun. We broke bones and now when we meet we laugh at it and have a bunch of stories.

Last week I showed a few teens how to chop some wood; it took .5 seconds for moms to get up and start freaking out saying it was too dangerous...

An hour later we had a stack of wood and everybody had fun, learned and felt great about a good job done.

People need to relax and let their kids have fun, learn and know what, sometimes get hurt. It's part of a process that is now much too rare...

Screw getting bored and “fixing” it with a screen. I’ve been seeing a new trend: Parents with kids on the backs of their bikes (something everyone does here, but now) with the kids glued to a screen… So, instead of learning (without getting bored at all!) about the reality that they are one day going to have to navigate by themselves, they watch some cartoon, blaring annoying audio to people around them in the process.

What’s wrong with humanity?

This article is not about "allowing" kids to be bored. It is to force kids to spend their time like this person that has a romanticized view of their childhood wants them to fill "the void".

I agree with this advice. But know there’s always an expert somewhere who says something when it comes to parenting. Most parents really are trying their best with the skills they have. Hang in there.

Being bored is good, I'd tell my kids. It means you're not hungry, or cold, or wet, or hurt, or scared for your life. Enjoy it!

All these "should be allowed" are basically "children are people, too. Let them have everything normal people do/have/experience/feel". This applies to all "children should be allowed to play/go outside/be bored/be not bored/...." expert takes

Here's a short story that I just quickly wrote that alludes to the title. It's also something I actually do.

__The Chair That Changed My Life__

There is the chair.

Sit on it. Tell yourself: this is my life now.

"But, but, I want to watch a YouTube video! I want to be on Instagram."

No you little media fueled thrill-seeker. You sit on the chair.

"But I AM FUCKING BORED! For the love of God please let me out!"

If it helps mister thrill-seeker, you can do anything on the chair that you want.

"Anything?"

Anything. As long as you don't get off the chair.

"I'm gonna sing!"

Go right ahead.

"I'm gonna dance on the chair."

It's yours to do so.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Wait a second, I should file my taxes!"

Oh, taxes? Hmm, that sounds important. Alright then, feel free to get off the chair or whatever it is that you need to do to fill your taxes - such as using a computer.

"Thanks!"

But remember, when you're done, get back on the chair. And no, no secret laptop smuggling with internet! This is an electronic free zone.

---

This exercise has given me some success in allowing myself to be media free at the times where I need it. I invented the exercise by at one point being so frustrated by my digital media addiction that I just told myself "you'd rather live your life on a chair? Fine! Feel free to do so. See what it does!" Then I got bored and I realized there was a key to explore there, and here we are.

protip: not just kids

Same goes for adults. There's no way to get bored anymore, unless you turn your smartphone/tablet/computer off. There's a never ending stream of news, posts on social platforms, video streams, podcasts, stealing the time to think about things which could improve your life.

Possibly off-topic: my sister practices a developmental game with her son. She gives him a toy with some kind of defect. And he figures out how to fix the defect by himself. With his mom's help, of course, but still.

Children vehemently disagree with expert (since times immemorial)

For my own kids when they are bored there is a flow of requests. First they ask if they can watch TV. Then they ask if they play video games. Then they ask if they can goto a friends house that they like. Then they ask if they can see a neighbor kid who they are kinda meh about. If I keep saying no to all the distractions they typically will enter a complainy phase about how they are bored, but after a bit of boredom they enter a very imaginative state where we can end up with some top tier kid games, the kind you might see on Bluey.

Quite a few adult creative minds have been talking about the importance of being idle across the years too...

Discussed at the time:

Children should be allowed to get bored - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5431188 - March 2013 (52 comments)

That we need an expert to understand that (and other trivial things) is a failure of common sense

(2013)

>such as talking to elderly neighbours

No no no, that's dangerous!!! Don't ever let your kids talk to strangers, duh. /s

Same thing applies to adults imo. Embracing boredom was one of the best things I did in the past years. Boredom is fun!