February 16th, 2025

So Many Unmarried Men

Mary Midgley challenged traditional philosophy by emphasizing personal relationships' role in shaping thought, advocating for a more inclusive approach that connects philosophy with daily life and human experiences.

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So Many Unmarried Men

Mary Midgley, a prominent philosopher, challenged the traditional view of philosophy as an abstract discipline by highlighting the significance of personal relationships in shaping philosophical thought. In her 1950s BBC radio script "Rings and Books," which was ultimately rejected, she noted that most renowned philosophers were unmarried men, suggesting that their lack of experience with family life may have led to a detachment in their philosophical perspectives. Midgley believed that philosophy should be intertwined with daily life and that it serves as a critical tool for examining our beliefs and assumptions. Her career, which began later in life, was marked by over 200 publications addressing complex issues such as identity, evil, and environmentalism. Midgley argued that the philosophical tradition's emphasis on abstraction could be a consequence of its practitioners' social isolation. She contended that meaningful relationships enrich philosophical inquiry and that the absence of such experiences may result in a narrow understanding of human nature. Midgley’s insights resonate with contemporary feminist thought, emphasizing the importance of relationality in philosophy. Her work encourages a reevaluation of how personal experiences influence philosophical discourse, advocating for a more inclusive and grounded approach to understanding human existence.

- Mary Midgley emphasized the connection between philosophy and daily life.

- She noted that many great philosophers were unmarried, impacting their philosophical perspectives.

- Midgley published extensively later in life, addressing various philosophical and social issues.

- Her insights align with contemporary feminist critiques of traditional philosophical thought.

- She advocated for a more relational approach to philosophy, challenging abstract detachment.

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By @Amezarak - 2 months
The article says:

> In the 1950s, the philosopher Mary Midgley did something that, according to philosophical orthodoxy, she wasn’t supposed to do. In a BBC radio script for the Third Programme (the precursor of BBC Radio 3), she dared to point out that almost all the canonical figures in philosophy’s history had been unmarried men. To most, Midgley’s attempt to discuss the relationship status of our most cherished philosophers would have been discarded as irrelevant, even scandalous.

I don't have to rack my brains very hard to recall similar observations that are much older:

> Thus the philosopher abhors marriage, together with all that might per- suade him to it, – marriage as hindrance and catastrophe on his path to the optimum. Which great philosopher, so far, has been married? Heraclitus, Plato, Descartes, Spinoza, Leibniz, Kant, Schopenhauer – were not; indeed it is impossible to even think about them as married. A married philosopher belongs to comedy, that is my proposition: and that exception, Socrates, the mischievous Socrates, appears to have married ironice, simply in order to demonstrate this proposition. (Nietzsche, Genealogy of Morality)

I have found this to be a very common motif: a news article presents someone saying something so REVOLUTIONARY it had to be suppressed, that nothing before was ever like this said or done...which is almost never the case; it is very popular for some reason to manufacture these examples of suppression above what really did occur. (I recall a similar HN article about the secret suppressed queen Semiramis, who was proverbially famous until we abandoned classics education.) Although the peculiar anglo attitude towards philosophy probably didn't help, maybe she was just not that interesting: the idea that a philosopher's ideas were really just a distillation of his personality, way of life, and physical health weren't novel.

By @talles - 2 months
Nietzsche believed that a philosopher's philosophy boils down to a reflection of his personality and his daily life, and this article seems to assume the same.

I don't buy this for a second. I think it's easier to swallow the very opposite.

By @hollywood_court - 2 months
I was married for 12 years. We had a reasonably amicable divorce back in October 23. We have 50/50 custody of our son. He's with me 3 nights one week and 4 nights the following week.

Since our divorce, I haven't spent any energy pursuing another lady, and I'm unsure if I will ever do so.

I have no desire to ever be in a relationship again. I am thriving now career-wise and health-wise.

I cooked better than my ex-wife could ever imagine. I keep a cleaner home than my ex-wife could ever imagine. While married, I handled everything in our house except for her laundry. She wouldn't allow me to do her laundry, or I would have done that too.

I handled all the automobile and home repairs. Now, I can do that all for myself and my son while having the time and freedom to pursue interests without offending someone else.

For a 43-year-old man like myself, I see no benefit in being in a relationship. I spent my formative years running wild in the Caribbean, burning through women as a plow cut through the snow. I'm glad I got all that out of my system as a young man. Now, all I'm focused on is providing my son with all the opportunities and experiences I never had as a child.

My mother was married 4 times, and I was forced to live with 3 different step-fathers. There is no way I would ever put my son through something like that.

By @NewUser76312 - 2 months
Whatever the reasons, modern societies are in a lot of trouble because none of them can stay above the 2.1 replacement birth rate.

And every foreign group that comes into a westernized country ends up having their birth rate dropped below replacement within a few generations too (at least that is the trajectory for those that aren't there yet).

By @myself248 - 2 months
The way I read this:

Bias is unavoidable. It's a fact of life, every philosopher puts their own bias into their work. You know that, you account for that.

Where it's a problem is when someone claims to be free of bias. To present the one true view, and all others are tainted. That's impossible, all they're doing is saying their bias is more valid than others.

And the trouble is when people buy that, and forget to question it. Which seems to have been the case for, oh, several decades.

By @ed-209 - 2 months
It's intuitive, that the pursuit of mastery demands sacrifice (in family life and beyond).

Unfortunately philosophical mastery would seem to require full participation in life (to fully appreciate the human experience), making this level of sacrifice a potentially self-defeating proposition.

By @bee_rider - 2 months
> But feminist theories of knowledge argue that we shouldn’t think of objectivity in this narrow way. Instead, knowledge should be seen as socially entangled with our emotions, interests, relationships, background beliefs and bodies. And factors such as these should not be discarded as inappropriate or merely subjective.

Is this really an accurate description of “feminist theories of knowledge?” It seems to pretty heavily lean on a somewhat stereotypical characterization of women as the more intuitive/less rigorous gender, which doesn’t seem like a trope feminists would be enthusiastic to go along with.

By @nickdothutton - 2 months
I've always thought the point of philosophy, and of philosophers, was to provide some ultimate salient, some final read-out, at the furthest point of a way of thinking. One can then sample from these positions, or use them as lenses through which to see their various experiences and understanding of the world. Today nobody serious is going to "live as Kant would" or Nietzsche or Wittgenstein. Speaking of Nietzsche, I don't think Midgley was the first to remark on the fact most philosophers were single men. Edit: Typo.
By @ordu - 2 months
> In fact, she thinks this Cartesian move is born from the philosophical ‘adolescence’ that Descartes never grew up from.

Ouch. It hurts. I'm a terminally unmarried man, and probably a "philosophical adolescent" as she puts it: I see a family as a bad thing for health, all these people at my home, or all these obligations to visit relatives who I do not know really and do not care of. And probably because of this I cannot understand what is she talking about. For example, she talks about Descartes wondering do other people exist:

> Now I rather think that nobody who was playing a normal active part among other human beings could regard them like this. But what I am quite sure of is that for anybody living intimately with them as a genuine member of a family … their consciousness would be every bit as certain as his own.

Probably they would be be certain, but why does it matter what they are certain of? They can be mistaken. All these relatives always want something from you, or idk like my parents have a great hopes for my life, which I cannot fulfill and I wouldn't even try, but still they will make me feel guilty about it. Of course in such an environment you cannot think straight, and you have no time to think about some abstract things, you'd prefer practical solution to ignore a question from which follows no practical implications. It is even a rational thing to do, but it doesn't make them right automatically.

So, it seems, that being an unmarried man I'm not qualified enough to understand what is this about. Yeah, it hurts. Luckily she wrote a book about it, probably the book will have a clearer message.

By @hmmmcurious1 - 2 months
Truth be told I also feel sharper when not dating or in a relationship, software engineering takes a lot of mental overhead. Competing in the modern meat market that is the current dating scene increases that mental overhead
By @Aloisius - 2 months
> Midgley’s observation that ‘none of [the greatest] philosophers … had any experience of living with women or children’

Is this... right?

A cursory scan shows a fair number of major philosophers like Aristotle, Socrates, Berkeley, Spinoza, Reid, Hegel, Heidegger, Montesquieu, Husserl, Rousseau, Mill, Bacon and Machiavelli were married.

Perhaps none of them are among the greatest though.

By @CobaltFire - 2 months
Interesting article that wears its biases on its sleeve.

Based on the comments we are seeing an extremely curated view of the subject, and the lens through which we are seeing it is colored dramatically.

For all that the core statement is interesting and valid.

By @scoofy - 2 months
The concept that we would have "men philosophers" and "women philosophers", or "bachelor philosophers" and "married philosophers", and that their philosophical theories would be tainted by their sex or marital status is as bizarre sounding to me as if someone were to talk about "German science" and "English science" as being inherently different from each other because of their ethnicity.

It is very likely that the type of people who actively study and write academic philosophy (especially in pre-modern times), were very likely rather "neurodivergent" at best, but more probably on the spectrum.

By @coldtea - 2 months
Nothing that a breakdown of the economy, welfare system, and productivity wont fix...
By @subjectsigma - 2 months
"It's unthinkable that people who are not physically similar to me could understand me or imagine what my life is like, much less have any insight into my condition."
By @red-iron-pine - 2 months
man oh man there is a lot of projection in these posts
By @skirge - 2 months
Philosophy is a wife. Possessive and jealous, demands full focus.
By @casey2 - 2 months
If you view governments as technology, which they are, then it makes sense that you would see very few women at the start and as it gets "grandma-proofed" you would see more and more women participating.

"Make the easy things hard and the impossible things possible." Women in government was thought to be impossible not just a few thousand years ago, and now it's rule not the exception.

Just another example of how simple (in description, not implementation) tech can change social norms.

By @twodave - 2 months
If there is one thing I’ve learned about philosophy, it is that it is a field full of arrogant know-it-alls who pretend to know what I am thinking better than I do, and who will preen on about how unenlightened I am while treating me like a 3 year old who should be silent while the adults are talking, wielding “philosophy” like some joke I’m missing that gives them an excuse to be socially-inept at my expense.

Obviously (to me, at least) this behavior is all centered around bullshit. I think it is somewhat common for those who experience anxiety over a lack of control to try and define or categorize what others are thinking, and to find a mild sense of closure or superiority after having done so. But life just isn’t that simple. So I (rightly or wrongly) think of philosophy as a dead field full of old lifeless straw-men.